what i needed to say

Unraveled

I had too many words
carelessly thrown together.
a pile I dropped in my stomach
the feeling of eating too much rice.

my brain the fishing pole
cast down there
snagging seaweed.
a mistake that caused me to choke out
salty, tangled "we'll be good friends."

when you echoed that
you made it too true
ropes flailing towards me
with which you tied me to our past.
a swollen tangled sailor's knot.

it made time hurt
until 4 became my lucky number
because that fourth month
I looked at the sorrow in your dark eyes
but untied our knot
with a word I had all along.
I was finally able to tell you
No.

A Time My World Changed

Help

they line up
a long train of mixed spiritual physical hunger
in from their continuous cold realities
the caged, panicking canary in my chest knowing
all I could do was hand them food.

directed to give a cookie and a smile
but wanting to take all the hunger from
their eyes
full with stories of street, abuse, smoke
eyes that see around my forced facial expression
down to my full belly, my opportunity.
eyes that put my canary as the parrot in a room full of black birds.

they pass through
take a meal
my canary freezes
a north wind in the form of a little girl
who looked longingly at the green frosted cupcake
the little girl
who made my smile and my shoes and my jacket seem too much
all I could do was hand them food